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I really don’t intend for this to feel like a ten step program to being ok with where you are.  Most of the time I find myself going back and forth between the ‘steps’ like a game of hopscotch. Some days, they happen simultaneously in my life.  In general, you don’t have to complete one to be ready to move ahead to another. You might think of  How to Be Ok With Where You Are as an abstract painting instead of a paint by number. It may get a bit messy at times, but in the end you still get a vivid and personal piece of art.

My hope is you feel the freedom to jump to a section that seems to be a sticking point for you. You have that option. This is absolutely true for all the chapters with one exception. Chapter 1 and 2 always go together, like Ebony and Ivory, Anne Shirley and Dianna Barry, or Bugs Bunny and the Road Runner. If you are willing to read and walk through chapter 1 you need to read and walk through chapter 2. You can’t separate the two.

You may pause, take a breath and brace yourself for chapter 2. This is totally fine with me. Please, by all means grab a cup cup of coffee or some chocolate because you just admitted you are not ok with where you are. This is huge. This is life changing. Now that I think of it, you should probably take a moment to prepare yourself, because chapter 2 may be the hardest one. I know it is for me.

So by all means, when you are ready, read on.

{From Chapter 2: Give It To God}

“Sadly, you can’t stay on the bathroom floor forever

(SIDENOTE: You would totally know what this reference means if I had given you all of Chapter 1. So sorry, just act like you know what I mean).

You have to get up for obvious reasons. Someone will probably need to use it eventually. If you are a mama like me, it is most definitely because someone needs you. Sometimes those people who need you will stick their tiny fingers under the door to see if they can touch you. Sometimes they will pass a note underneath that says they are sorry. You might laugh a little, but still contemplate staying put.

But, when you finally get up from the bathroom floor, wipe your tears, and check yourself in the mirror, Jesus will always ask you one question.  It is vitally important to answer it before going to chapter 3, 6, or 8.

Do you trust Me?

Back in the early 1980’s, before my first home permanent gone wrong, I rode a red, white, and blue bicycle with a banana seat and had a mutt dog named Brownie. He was the smartest dog in the world. But, that is another story. I also loved cheesy posters. This may explain why I am prone to pin inspirational sayings on Pinterest.

My dentist had the best posters hanging on the ceiling with push pins. My favorite was one that read:

If you love something set it free.

If it comes back to you it was yours.

If it doesn’t it was never meant to be. – Unknown

The poster depicted a beach scene with a girl tossing a dove into the air. I guess she really loved that bird. I always wondered why she wanted to set free the thing she most loved. I was sure that dove was never coming back. “Poor, 80’s beach girl,“  I thought.

Lately, I feel like I am living in this tired poem and giving my “it” to God is a bit like tossing that dove into the air. I know there are shades of truth here. I have to be willing to let go of what I was hoping like crazy was God’s best for me. There is one one major difference, however. When I give my “it” to God I am not setting it free to fly and let the universe decide to bring it back or not. Instead, I am surrendering my plans to a personal God who loves me and knows what is best for my heart.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

The trouble comes when I have something I really want to fit in God’s plan for my life and think I know better. I tend to hold on like a toddler who doesn’t want to share with her playmate. “Mine!” is a word I am all to familiar with in a house full of girls. It is next to impossible to unwrap my three year olds hands from a toy she thinks she deserves. Parenting 101 teaches you to not  force the child’s hand, but offer her something better.

Often, God will orchestrate my life in such a way I have no choice but to let go of my “it” because it is not part of His good plan for my life. His hand extends to me and He whispers, “Dear one, if you keep holding on to that, you can’t hold on to my hand. There simply isn’t room for you to hold both.” Faith comes when I can’t see what else He is holding in His other hand or where His plan will lead. It feels like giving it to God is letting it go. When really, it is about having a hand to grab His and readying my heart to receive what He wants to give me instead. I have to trust His plan is infinitely better. At the end of the day, it is really about surrender.”

***

I’m not really crazy about that “s” word either. But there it sits just the same.  The rest of chapter 2 unpacks it and hopefully will lead us both to better things. What am I saying? Of course it does! It leads us to chapter 3 which I will share with you in part, next Monday.

xo,

Stacey

P.S. If you missed Chapter 1, go here.

You came. I was so hoping you would! Last week, I asked you to show up every Monday for the next 10 weeks and help me write a book. So here you are, coffee cup in hand ready to get to work. I’m glad and nervous at the same time. Does it show much? (Hint: This is the place where you reassure me that I have nothing to be nervous about.)

Today, I’ll be sharing part of Chapter 1 from “How To Be Ok With Where You Are.” I know it will not feel complete. It isn’t supposed to. There is still more to come.

Here is a bit of background on the book to get us started:

Recently, I had an Olympic sized disappointment of my own. Something I had been working hard on for months fell through my fingertips. I could almost hear the gasp of the crowd in my ears as my own dream died in the form of a short email. I took a moment (translation the better part of a day) to dance with the disappointment and then I had a decision to make. What next? 

This was not an unfamiliar place for me. In my 40+ years I have had many disappointments. Some may seem small, others were life changing. I began to think back on each of those times in my life and saw a theme.  I saw for the first, time learning to be ok with where you are  is a process.

Confession time: I hate process.

I’m not entirely on the other side of it. This book is my way of walking through it and not getting stuck along the way.I love that you are here. It is so much better to walk together. I’m secretly hoping we can work out  being ok with where we are together.

I promise to cheer loudly for you. I’m hoping you’ll cheer for me, too.

{From Chapter 1}  

Admit it.

“I’ve never been a runner. There was one time in college when I tried to become a one because I desperately needed to shed the freshman fifteen. My roommate Nichole loved to run. She ran for the sheer fun of it. I was pretty sure I didn’t, remembering my days on the high school volley ball team. But, I needed results and fast. So I asked her to help me. She took on the challenge with great delight.

We would run after class just before dinner. Up hills and down, I felt every pound of the pavement on my entire body. She would glide effortlessly beside me while I gasped for air. After our run she would say, “Wow, that was great!” and then proceed to make and eat the biggest plate of pasta I have ever seen. I wanted to die and eat a pint of ice cream. I’m pretty sure I whined consistently about it to everyone who would listen.  One day while running it occurred to me, “I hate this. I hate everything about it. So why am I doing it?”

I quit running that day.

Nichole went on to run marathons and mini-marathons. She simply loved to run. I did not. The day I admitted I was not a runner was the end of my running career, but it was the beginning of something else. I started walking instead. Walking worked for me. I could walk for miles without hurting. My mind was able to slow and could release the frustrations of my day or casually communicate with whoever might be with me at the time. Usually, this was just me and Jesus. As it turns out, He likes walking, too.

Sometimes trying to be ok with where you are feels like running when you hate it. You are gasping for air and really all you want to do is stop the madness. You might also be steadily whining about it to everyone around you. Consider this your permission slip to admit it and stop running around and pretending you are ok.

It is ok to admit it to yourself and God. Don’t worry, He can take it. You’ll feel better, too. It will also be the first step in your new journey. This new journey will take you straight to the heart of God.  If you let Him lead the way you will find you are not only ok with where you are, you are grateful for how you arrived.

I know first steps can be the most difficult. Wouldn’t it be great if we could watch someone else go through the process ahead of us? Well, luckily for us Scripture is packed full of examples, and I think I’ve found a few we can learn a thing or two from.”

Join me next Monday for part of Chapter 2.

xo,

Stacey